Hey followers or soon to be followers taking it i have yet to get any followers to my blogs lol. Friends read them but because i post the links on my twitter, myspace, and facebook (hint, hint) oh well, at least someone is reading them.
This blog is filled with some many different and mixed emotions. Everything of course thats on my mind.
Today is Christmas Eve, and as I sit here with cancelled plans. Yes home alone and thats what i want to just do. Was suppose to be driving down to Avenal but again they pissed me off and so i decided to stay home. Home were i find myself spending all my time. Ever since my ex i seem to be the homebody type of person. I went through so much with him. I know one thing fasure is that I'm not the same Edwin i used to be, and never will be. And i hate it i cry sometimes because i cant change it and at the fact that i allowed one soul to make it all happen someone i trusted someone i loved someone that WAS my bestfriend, the one that could make me happy but make at the same time make me feel lifeless, the most ugliest person. Im different im shy, quiet, jealous, sometimes if feel like my youth was robbed. I like the fact that im mature and independent. Like i said in my previous blog Things happen for reasons lots reasons. And im sad but glad at the same time for all that i have went through this year. Im so much wiser than i was a year ago. Enough of that mess.
I was in monterey the last two days. What a great time i had. Driving over to Monterey was so exhilarating. I went to see Ben my baby doll. Oh how i missed him so much. When im around him i feel like i dont have to say a word but just look in his eyes and fall into a fairy tale, kind of corny but its true. He showed me a great time. the time we spent together was priceless. First night we went to his theater for his Christmas party. Was fun. We bonded and laughed. We got hella stoned that night and laughed and laughed i hadnt laughed that much for a long time. We went to the aquarium were i enjoyed it so much. I love the penguins there the cutest ever. It was he's surprise for me. But just spending time with him is all i wanted to do. I enjoyed the trip so much. I like him a lot. I sound like a school girl but its true. He races through my head day and night. I love how he always makes sure im ok....."you ok baba"?....as he calls me. Holding him in the night just completed me knowing that i was going to wake up next to him made me feel so good. Took me alot to leave that night but he made it all better telling me " Baba ill see you thursday." I drove home that night and thought about so much good things though. It was a great trip and im sure monterey will be seeing more of me =)
Right now im just down stairs watching music videos about to take a nap. Kind of tired taking i worked all day. Work is so annoying right now. But its like i cant do nothing about it. So i just take it and shut my mouth ok, well i complain here and there but overall it isnt that bad. Im blessed to me employed.
New Years Eve is something im looking forward to. Ill leave it at that so i dont jinx myself thankkkkss.... lol
Tommorow is Christmas and if i dont make it to Avenal i will be spending it with a new friend in my life shes an awesome gal loud and crazy just like the old edwin =). Well i wish you all a very Merry Christmas and Happy New Year...not sure if ill be updated by then so ill just wish it now! =)
Thank You for reading........................
Always,
Edwin Barrera
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